Why you have to stop searching 'How to Lose Weight' (+ accept your WHOLE self)
I always get a good laugh and often a face of confusion when asking clients, "What is your top 'Google' search term?" So, health-loving reader, what do you Google?
Is it something along the lines of....
- How to lose weight fast?
- How to get flat abs tomorrow?
- How to be skinny, hot, sexy, and happy?
Maybe you come across something interesting - a cleanse perhaps or new supplements that will certainly be the answer for you this time.
Deep down, you know it won't work or stick, but you're so desperate for something, you'll give it a try.
Let's not dwell on what you do know, but turn back a few minutes before the google action.
There's a reason you did a quick google search to try to change your body or weight. You're looking for something that surely weight loss will give you - happiness, confidence, love, connection, or a hobby to fill your time.
Weight loss certainly is portrayed as a sexy, must-do activity in today's society. Ads, TV, and magazines all show skinny women having an amazing time, and 'after' pictures seem to give women a sparkly, glittery life.
What happened before the desire to lose weight popped up?
I bet a button of yours was pushed. Maybe you're feeling off today, not feeling very fabulous in your outfit. Maybe someone actually commented on your weight, or you felt guilty for eating a sandwich when your thin co-worker was eating a salad. All of these leading to shame, guilty, and a sense of unworthiness.
1. You try to protect yourself from feeling that shame in the future, so you decide to plan out your next cleanse or detox diet.
2. You rebel and get the urge to go binge or restrict. You know how when a food is 'off-limits,' it's the ONLY food on your mind?
So, will that diet or weight loss actually give you that sparkly, glittery life? Make you feel happy, confident, loved?
Of course, you may think NO...but part of you still thinks you'll be a whole new woman if you do. Take the time to listen to that quiet voice of yours - you may notice it as a tightness in your chest or stomach - it's your intuition.
The truth is everything you desire is inside you right now.
You have the power to feel how you want to feel - confident, connected, loved, worthy. You are worthy of love and belonging...right now. You can create a life you love.
In these moments, you can choose to accept the parts of you that feel shame or guilt rather than pushing them deeper inside of you.
Own your shame - yes, I know, that sounds TERRIFYING!
When you can begin to create balance and accept all parts of yourself, you'll gain insight about yourself. You may start to learn why this desire to lose weight - even when you intellectually realize diets don't work - still pops up. You can learn why you understand body diversity exists...but why you still can't love your body.
When you own and share the shame - with someone you can trust - you can begin to bring light into the darkness. This is where the real change and truth comes in. It's from digging deeper into yourself, understanding, and accepting YOU...just as you are. Of course, body diversity and intuitive eating are wonderful and incredible concepts, but it's just the entry into intuitive living. Normal eating happens when you start living the life that is happening right now. It happens when you get curious about the journey within and WHY you are always turning to weight loss and dieting as your answer.
Of course, if you found this page from the grand Google, this is not the quick + easy answer you were looking for.
You may have to dive into the hidden, shameful parts of yourself, but I'm confident it's worth it to explore those parts of yourself and bring them into the light. It may bring you closer to that ever-elusive 'normal eating' that you embodied as a child.
I'd love to know in the comments below:
- How often have you searched 'how to lose weight?'
- What is one thing you can accept about yourself today?